"can you describe what it's like?...I feel nothing."

Indisposition - Illness (sometimes referred to as ill-health or ailment) is a state of poor health. Illness is sometimes considered a synonym for disease. Others maintain that fine distinctions exist. Some have described illness as the subjective perception by a patient of an objectively defined disease.

-I'm Indisposed.

BAH HUMBUG-No, that's too stronggggg.

And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And you cant fight the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of the truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

You look familiar, where do i know you from?

I Feel Non-existent To You, Or Even Worse.
Like You Never Even Knew Me In The First Place.
Tell Me, Do You Always Lie To Everybody?
Or Was I Just An Acception? Cause Beleive Me,
Id Rather You Didnt Strain Yourself On My Account.
Seriously Though, If You Want To Be Part Of My life,
Get Your Bloody Act Together, Im Done Trying. Just Let Me Know.
Im Finished Here.

:')

Im Finding Formspring Addictive(a)xxxxxxxxxxx

bad vibes corrupt my head,half dead.

Ima Drifter, Im Drifting Drifting Drifting

Away.

From You.

And Hopefully From Life.

I Want To Go Home, But Do We Know Where That Is?

Its At The Start.

Heaven.

So Now Its At The End.

Im Fed Up Of This Battle.

Im Hurt.

Physically

Mentally

&Its Tiring

Exhausting

Draining

Whatever You Want To Call It.

idc Anymore

About Life

About Them

Ill Always Care About You..

But Not About Me.

Whoever I Am. I Dont Know Anymore.

I Know Whats Been Created though: A Monster.

Ugly

Fat

Hideous

Cruel

A Waster. A Big Nothing.Null

And I Know Whats Going To Be Destroyed.

Farrah.

I miss the old you...

maybe some people just aren't meant to stay in our lives forever, maybe some people are just passing through. it's like some people just come through our lives to bring us something, a lesson we need to learn, and that's why they are there. ♥

Try to live through this night.

I Dont Think Theese people Understand.

THIS MAKES ME WANT TO BLOODY KILL MYSELF 

&You And I Both Know Ima Try.

Don't go too far. I chose to stay here. Remind me where we are.

Can't Stop Shaking, Keep Passing Out. Feel So Ill. YAY, Its Working Foshooooo(; Might Hang On Till Zee Birthday, then Keep It Up, Stop Drinking Completely And Starve To Death(yn) Be Gone By The Year Is Out. Its been A Crap Decade Tbh. Dont Feel like Talking But Want To Talk, So Worthless Atm. Phone Keeps Dying And Lappy, Therefore I Am Just In Such A Bad Mood This Week. It Seems I Cant Do Anything Right. Aim For Tomorrowww: Get My Fat Backside On Msn&Faceboooooooook, How Ive Missed Them :') Luckily, I Can Access PA At School, But Its Verrehhhh Difficult, Cause They Have Superteachers, they know What Your On Before You even Type The Address In ;L Good Job I Is Sneakeeeehhhh Ninja ;D Maby If I Clean The Battery My Mowbly Shall Work? Watch This Space.. </3 xxoxoxox

Compassion is overrated.

Mehh, This Should Be Like A Good Month For Me.                                                                            My Sixteenth On The Twentyeighth Of November! Yeahhhhboysss. So That Means Mahoosive Party, Fack Loadsa Presents And New Clothes For Party(: And Bonfire Night, Which I Lovelovelove, Although, Fireworks Make Me Feel Really Unsafe.. I Love Um All teeh Same Though. Mocks Start On the 15th? Something Like That. Anyways, that Is A GOOD Thing Cause We're Allowed To Get Study leave! Which Translates Into: Sleep Ins All Week Aaaaand Watch JezzaKyle And Doctors And Chillaxxxxx .Dunno If Ive Got It Likee.. You Gotsa Ta Be On Target In 5 Or More Subjects Including MATHS And ENGLISH. Fack My Actual Life. I Wish I Was Clever. Anywhoozle, Idc If I Get It Or Not, I Aint Off Into School Either Way Soooo Yeahmate. People Keep Asking me If Im Eating. I Say Yeah. And They're All Like, Oh Well I Thought You Looked Healthier. HAH, Bullcrap. Shows How Much Interest People pay Eyyy? I Have New Goals, Size 4 For The 19th And Size 2 For Thee Birthday. Ima Try Hard To get There. If I Dont Die First. Cause Im Sooooo In That Frame Of Mind Atm Tis Unreal. I Has 4Packs Of Pills, Not Enough To OD On, So Ima Hold Back(yn)

-MuchoLoveee</3 xxoxox

eeeeeeeeeep.

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	Extremely High
Dysthymia:	High
Bipolar Disorder:	Very High
Cyclothymia:	Very High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	High
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

FGS

IT'S 

ALL 

FALLING 

APART 

:(

The Only Joy, Is The Faint Spark Of Forgivness In Your Eyes.

Raining,Freezing,Trackies,Uggs,Henleys,Blanket,Pills,Razor=Sorted :')

My Fravouritest Song In The Whole Wide World :')

OneLoveee.

-Daydreamer

-WallRelated Stuntwoman/Ninja

..God. I'm Strange. :)

All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you.

Before I choke on the best of reasons.

Im Obviously Invisible To You :/

Sat On My Mate Today, He Said ''Ahh Get Off You Big Lump'' I Knew He was Joking. But It Hurt. It Really Hurt♥
And Yeah, I Feel So Invisible. People See Me But They Deny Me. They Hear Me, But They Dont Listen. They Talk With Me, But They Dont Understand. Came Back To School For Teh First Day, Tis Like I Never Left. Nobody Noticed. I Dont Blame Them. Im Nothing. Going Nowhere. I Am Just A Speck Of Dust In A World Of Massive Rocks D; ♥

This Is Who I Really Am.

I Wish I Died Yesterday. I Really Do, With All My Heart&Soul. The Next Slot Is Wednesday...     28/11/94-22/09/10? Gots A Cheeky Ring To It</3

FML

CRYCRYCRYCRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCRY
CRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCRYCRYCRYCUT 
CRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCRYCRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCUT
CRYCRYCRYCRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCRY
CRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCRYCRYCRYCUT 
CRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCRYCRYCRYCUTCRYCRYCUT

..

THANKYOU EVERYONE FOR MAKING ME FEEL INVISIBLE. :/

IyaStunnerrr

I Cant Concentrate On Out Anymore :/

Must Stop Skipping Lessons And Avoiding School, We've Only Just Gone Back!

First Lesson Was French, I Learned That Affreux=Awful. 

Eg. Je detsete la couture parce que le proffesseur est tres affreux.

Second Lesson Was English, I Dont Understand It At All. 

I Didnt Even Know That Shakespeare Wrote Hamlet!

There I Discovered The Term 'Inertia' Which Means 'Lacks Capacity To Act'

I Put Two Together And Got ''AffreuxInertia''. Its A Sign That I Found Out About Those Words.

So Therefore I AM As Bad As I Think. That Proves It. Im Awful And Cannot Act To Change It.

Im Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkiiiinggg And Idk Why, Weakness Probs? Mehhhhhhh.

</3NOM</3

Im Leaving.

&Its Almost Guranteed That This Time, I Wont Come Back..

What Do I Do?

Nomnomnom.

'If I wasn't here tomorrow
Would anybody care?
If my time was up I wanna know
You were happy I was there
If I wasn't here tomorrow
Would anyone lose sleep?
If I wasn't hard and hollow
Then maybe you would miss me
I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that I like better
I can never forget
So don't remind me of it forever'

ThoughtsOfTeeehMindlessInsomniac.

I Don't Have A Clue.  Raindrops Are Pattering On My Window, It's Nice. Wish I Was Outside. Its Toooo Colddd. Im Not Doing My Coursework Becauseeeee....Uhmm.....Teeh Mind Izz Verrehh Blank Ahnd I Cans Not Think..Need Sugar?..Bleurgh. What Am I Chatting Really?♥

How Is Your Day?STFU

Shes upset
Bad day
Heads for the dresser drawer to
Drive her pain away
Nothing good can come of this.
She opens it theres nothing there
Is only left over tears
Mom and dad had no right she screams
As the anger runs down both of her cheeks.

Then she closed her eyes
And found relief in a knife
The blood flows as she cries

All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Bite the lip just forget the bleeding

Then she closed her eyes
And found relief in a knife
The blood flows as she cries [x2]

Curled up shes on the floor
Relief left her she had hoped for something more
From it (hoped for something more)
From it
He leans down to comfort her
She is weeping and He
Wraps His arms around
And around and around and...
The deeper you cut
The deeper I hurt
The deeper you cut
It only gets worse

Now shes slowly opening...
New eyes...

Then she opened her eyes
And found relief through His life
And put down her knives

Then she opened her life
And found relief through His eyes
And put down
She put down her life

WhenWeWereYoung.

You make me smile for no reason whatsoever, you make me laugh, at things that arn't even funny, but most of all, most annoying of all, you make me love you when i shouldn't ♥

Has nobody asked you how you are? You look like you might not last the day.

The dark draws in fast,i curl up in a fat ugly ball, broken,crying on the floor,i dont know what to do anymore.I'm getting that feeling.

I'm going to lose control tonight.

You only get one shot so make it count ,You might never get this moment again.

Give me any reason to believe
'Cause I swear I'm done here
'Cause I've seen a bigger picture
And I'm looking for some answers

Tell me that it's worth it
'Cause I'm doing all I can to fight it
And I've never been this scared
And my moment's finally here.

They won't ask you why, They just watch you die.

Secret Numero Deux- I Hope That Theres Someone Out There, Who Can Make Me Smile Again,Because I Miss It So Much</3

Let me light up the sky, Light it up for you.

Heyyy My Name Is Farrah And I Like To Wear Dresses in The Winter And Hoodies in The Summer. I Hardly Ever Let Anyone In. They Dont Want To Know.  I Have To Sleep With The light And Telly On. Uhhmm. I Love  To Laugh.But I Have An Awful Smile. 
So Dw, Ima Cover It Up.Byeeee</3

JustExplore♥

Hey man, I'm alive, I'm takin' each day and night at a time.

Woooow :)

Baaaaaad Day Today :/

No Sleep, No Energy,NO POINT.

Cried All Day, About 5oclock Passed Out On't Kitchen Floor. Woke Up At Like 8, It Was Pouring Down With Rain. I Stood Out In It And Watched The Sunset. It'd Be Lovely If The Rain Could Wash You Right Away.  Thennnn, This Beasty Rainbow Came. Cheered Me Up A Bit :3

Then I Was Upset Again. Cant Take This Anymore, I Feel Like Talking Today, But Who To?  :/ 

Cause Your Amazing, Just The Way You Are.

*Un-Augustana-Boston

*Deux- BBmak- Out of My Heart

*Trois-  YouMeAtSix-Always Attract

*Quatre- ADTR-You Had Me At Hello

*Cinq- Bon Iver-Blindsided

Six-   Coldplay-The Scientist</3 rip

Sept- Hotel  Lights-Follow Through

Huit-  JayZ- Young Forever

*Neuf- Yellowcard -  Light Up The Sky

Dix- SnowPatrol - Signal Fire

*Onze- Quietdrive-Time After Time

Douze- JasonMraz- Im Yours

*Trieze- PWT's -  HeyTheeereDelilaaaaah

Quatorze- SecondhandSerenade-Vulnerable

*Quinze- WeTheKings-Skyway Avenue

Sieze- Oasis-Wonderwall

DixSept-   TheKillers-MrBrightside

DixHuit- JLS-CloseToYou

DixNeuf-  Jay Sean- Down

Vingt-Jack Johnson- Better Together
Vingt-et-un- The Killers-Everything Will Be Alright 
VingtDeux- BonJovi- Livin On A Prayer

Thank You,That Is All♥
 

So I'll wait on some other escape that leads me nowhere fast.

Secret Numero Une- I Think About Overdosing On Most Days. I Dont Know Why. I Just Want Out Of My Life Which Is Going Nowhere Fast. I Tried It T'Other Day Cause I Was Home Alone For A Few Weeks. I Couldnt Even Get That Right. Got In The Bath Too I Did. Hoped To Drown. I Didnt Put Enough Water In. Once I Realised What Id Tried To Do I Cried, So Much That I Threw Up. Ive Never Been More Scared In My Entire Life. Will I Ever Try It Again? Well, Lets Just Say That Im Not Deleting My Goodbye Notes Anytime Soon</3

She's running out again(yn)..

IT'S JUST TOO LITTLE TOO LATE.

Don't Spend Your Life Trying To Find,Something Thats In Front Of Your Eyes.

When I Dance, Nothing Else Matters, I'll Practice Till My Feet Bleed</3

BOOO!

Trust is giving someone the power to completely and utterly shatter you, and hoping they wont, thing is, they usually do♥.

And I'm wasting away, away from you..

Ima Very Insecure Person& I Need Reassuring All The Time. It's Hard. I Cant Eat In Front Of People. Or Drink.. I Don't Eat At All. And Im Allowed One Glass Of Water Per Day. Ive coverd All Me Mirrors Up So I Cant See Maself Much. I Die A Little Everytime I See My Face.  People Are Trying To Get Me to See What They See,  Instead Of What I See. Its Terrifiying.  It's All Lies. You Might Think Im Fine With Myself, But Im Really Not, I Just Act Like I Am.They Think I Give Out A Modest Shhhh Cause I'm Flattered. Wrong. Its A Shhhh To Get You To Stop Saying That, Im Saving Your Breath, I Dont Wanner Hear It, Your Lying..Would A Confident Person Walk Out Of Maths At School, Lock Themselves In A Toilet, Smash Their Compact And Slit Their Wrists Because Somebody Looked At Them Funny? No.When I think Of Me I Want To Cry. I Cant Explain It Any Other Way. Idk Why Im Sayin This. I Guess Ima Starting To Tell A Story I Have Kept Inside  Forever. It is going to take a long time to tell it. I cant worry like This Anymore. I Need To Tell Somebody, Anybody who'll listen. I Need Someone To Care&Stick Around. And Please, Please Don't  Ever Leave Me. I Couldn't Handle That. Everybody Leaves.

36 Days In Counting. I Can Do This?

WantNeed To Go Over Last Weeks Stabs

What Stabs? ^o) Just Shhhhhh :/

Though my skies are turning grey.

I Really Like Tribly Hats. Yeah I Love Tribly Hats. Love Lads In Tribly Hats NOMNOMNOM At Lads In Tribly Hats. SuperNom To 

Olly Murs In A Tribly Hat ♥

JaaaaaasonDerullooo,Usher,OllyMurs</3,BrunoMars

I'm loosing sense of time, And everything tastes the same,

              

Don't fight it, Don't fight it
If you don't know what it is.

Sleepless nights remain .

Just Explore</3

I Might Tear You Apart,Told You From The Start.

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes..There are two bottles of cherry tango on the table..
I'm looking for a new phone today.Marilyn manson creeps me out.. Bless him, he's misunderstood. 

I  like f i r e w o r k s Umm, Barefeet= Bleurghhh...oh yeah, Im not getting help anymore, I AM FINE?..Can't sit still....I'm clearly unfixable</3...Je suis listening to Black Sabbath.i still have 6 favorite films. I want to watch the sunrise again&the sunset..I like to fool people..It works...Sometimes i want someone to notice it,To care for the truth...I have a big belly. Im wearing your hoodie,right now :3 ....My nails are painted black....I often trip over...Im amazed with the whole wide world. You say careful not to hurt yourself...That's the point...Im scared of trains....Ima fat aaaaaand ugly cow...Like moo. Are you sick of me yet?...i'm sorry if i make you worry, that isn't what i want, and you know that. .. i didn't want to ruin your day for you either...I wear the same jewellry all the time...Because you gave it to me, this is what missing you looks like....Please....I hate my natrual hair, i put it to the side to hide it....Ive got fravourite places.We'll take care of eachother....This is my personality....dreams only last for a night.&I l o v e  you lotsies(:

and I will try to fix you.(8)

Alriiiiiight.

I Have
Trophies
C
a
u
s
e
i
D a n c e

lots and

i'm
P
r
o
u
d
OF
Myself</3

You stole my heart and then you kicked it aside.

     Seasons are changing,

and waves are crashing
and stars are falling, all for us.

Shame You Turned Out To Be The Person You Promised You Wasnt.

I'm still here(yn)

''this isnt flying, this is falling with style'' 

  -toystory ♥

Get up, get out, get away from these liars.

We come into this world alone, and we leave alone,So don't even try and tell me 

that you'll always be there</3

Everyone In Africa Knows Swedish.

I Know Your Out There And, I Know Your Going To Stop This.
I really do. I don't know who you are, where you are, why I keep imagining you.
You've become a pathetic comfort to me, an idea that one day I'll find you. You'll hug me and say it's gonna  be okay and for once, I'll believe you.  You'll understand me&the pain, and you'll make it go away.  It's Just, Atm,  I really wish i wasnt  here,I wish I wasn't alone. I Iz slowly destroying my life and nobody cares to stop me. Do you exist? Because I really, really need someone right now.

♥

Everythings Cool As Long As I'm Getting Thinner.

il faut souffrir pour etre belle♥

There is nothing more for me,Need the end to set me free.

I Cant Beleive I Did That. Cant Beleive It Didnt Work!
Mehhh, I Should Really Tell Somebody ¬¬, Or Try Again?(yn)
Good Old Churchill Said ''Never,Never,Never Give Up''.
Hmmmm. I Cant Carry On Like This,Bloody Hell It's Awful.
I Keep Being Told That One Day, I'll Be Free.
And I Just Keep Repeating What Henry Ford Said-
''Weather You Think You Can, Or You Think You Cant,Your Right''.
So That Means That If I Think I Can Get Better Then I Will, But I
Dont Think I Ever Will.. So I Wont? Blahhhhh. Im Confuzzed.
Henry Was A Ledgend Wasnt He!  By Like 1929 Nearly All The Usa's
Cars Was A Ford, He Built That Massive Factory In Detroit And Came
Up With Assembly Lines. Bless Im :')
Wish I Could Sleep, Actually, I Wish I Wasnt Me :p .
I Was Thinking, My Name Has A Bad Vibe :s
Like, Loads Of Words Start With F And They Are All True To Me.
FAT,FUGLY,FAILIURE,FREAK,FORGOTTEN,FINICKY,FXCK-UP,FRIVOLOUS,FUGLY,
FUGLY,FUGLY,FUGLY.
Rrrrawwwrr :3 x

Yesterday don't matter if it's gone.

When Will We Tire Of Putting Shit Up Our Noses?
Or Taking Drags Of God Knows What
S'pose Its Just How You Spend Your Time With Those Who Are Closest,
And You get Those Silly Moments Which Are best Forgot.